Showing posts with label 日记一则. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 日记一则. Show all posts

Friday, June 21, 2013

牵引我心

经历种种磨练,不得不叫自己学习成长,学次放下自己,全然交托给神。有时候当觉得自己很有能力的时候,反而不会降服;直等到问题来到,才知道自己是多么渺小,不得不在全能神面前谦卑。

在我还没有考undang-undang考试前,我在房间做过着这么一个祷告:

“主啊,求你祝福我,好让我能够在我能祝福的范围内祝福其他人。”

很多次遇到交通问题时,我都很好运,有那么多“天使”祝福我,载我,有一次打完羽球,jonathan载我回家,我说我不知道要如何报答他,他告诉我:你不需要报答我,等到你会驾车时就祝福其他不会驾车的人吧!我也是一个过来人,曾经有不少人载过我,现在是时候到我祝福人了。

很多人刚考到车时,都喜欢抢着要驾车,这也包括我在内,但可能是性格的关系,我不太喜欢驾长途车程。另一方面是驾车技巧不好,每一次驾车旁边总有人在念我。无可否认我是初学者,还有很多需要学习的方面,所以我应该坦然大方的接受所有的批评的。但是可能是没有天分的关系,每一次都被念得好惨哦 :'(

 有一次因为家里没有人在的关系,我必须要自己一个人驾车去附近的地方,结果就在家外面撞到自己的车,而且那辆被撞的车再过几天就要准备拿出去卖了,就因为我撞到的关系这辆车亏了不少钱。被爸爸骂了后心情真的很失落,脆弱的心灵已经被几句尖锐的话语刺伤,心很痛,很想放弃驾车。在我已经找不到任何理由继续驾车的时候,这句祷告词再次浮现在我的脑海里了。“主啊,求你祝福我,好让我能够在我能祝福的范围内祝福其他人。” 我的生命,是要来影响更多生命的!我祈求神帮助我,每一次要驾车前,我不要再靠自己的聪明智慧,乃是要投靠万能的耶和华,将我所要走的路交托神。(箴言3:5-6)就这样,驾车技术进步不少了。

今天又再次承受很大的打击,我真的很失落。驾车不但被家人骂,还要被一个年纪比我小的人取笑,这一点都不好笑!巴着自己的面子勉强笑,希望自己能够好下台一点,但原来我的内心是受了多大的创伤。我不否认我鲁莽的驾驶,但是我真的很难接受自己这样被人笑。可能因为我是那种做事按部就班的类型,我很难变通,所以在驾车方面受过不少煎熬。我在心里想:我不想驾了。。。

对呀,可能搭lrt没有那么多烦恼

但感谢神的是,我再次找到学好车的理由。惟有这样我才愿意吭下这口难喝的杯。

每一次驾车都要抱着学习的心态,我希望这些打击不会影响我对神的信心,还有我做过的承诺,如果我手所拥有的能够祝福人,就要给出去!不然上帝“收回”的时候,就可别后悔了。希望我不会把自己所拥有的当做理所当然,同时也不要自高自大,希望我能够放下自己,将破碎的心灵交托认罪 (诗篇51:17),我相信上帝正在为我铺盖更美好的道路!

这首歌的歌词激励了我,再一次,我要在眼泪中被神触摸,学习怕起...


心中的渴望,惟你能滿足,翻騰的心情,惟你能平息, 

我靈甚渴慕你,更深的認識你,主你的恩典,是何等的甘甜。 
牽引我心,更深的愛你主,緊抱著我在你的懷裡, 
牽引我心,每一刻更深的愛你主,我只要永遠的愛你主, 
我渴慕藏在你的愛裡,一日復一日,我尋求你面, 
聖靈吸引我,進入恩典的應許,我心充滿盼望, 
從此不再畏懼,來到你跟前,是何等的甘甜。 

Monday, March 19, 2012

Joel is back [Junaco Park]

Hi! I'm back again~
I've done 3 months national service training at junaco park sibu~
the camp is awesome...
the 77 days is so memorable to me...

First of all...
it is not an ordinary camp?
why?
not because of ghost or wat la~
because it is
  • the largest camp in malaysia
  • the prettiest camp in malaysia



as you can see, this is one of the lake... written there: Junaco Park Sibu
before government switch it as a camp,
it was a big public park
people can fishing there,
jogging
because it cover by many mountains...
the fresh air... beautiful lakes...
and the beautiful skies~
love it so much.... muacksssss

one more thing, this is the only camp with swimming pool
(even though I dunno how to swim, but I still feel proud of it :P)



one more thing, there is one big hall that can put 1,000 people++ inside
this is the stage...
I thank God for I got so much chances to perform on the stage...


this is asrama wira... means hostel for male la~
:)
to be continue... :D

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

2011 wishlist

I still remember when I wrote my 2011 wishlist
I have gave myself some simple tasks and some are quite hard to do it...
its only 5 wishlist

2011 wish list

1. 进入丰盛
2. spm 考到理想的成绩
3. 人际关系有突破
4. 背包旅行
5. 圣灵充满

ok, so base on these 5 wishlist
if we look at the bottom 1, receive holy spirit and speak in tongue
I guess maybe its not the time yet, so I failed this task
let's look at the 4th,
bag packing,
I've plan a bag packing but since we are still young,
and many things are inconvenience
so we canceled it and ended up with a graduation trip
never mind, I'm quite satisfied with it. :)

next, break through in relationship
yes it is, since this year I've argue with so many friends,
chinese say: 不打不相识 right?
in school I've learn to forgive,
somehow in church I still couldn't find a true close friends to share spiritual problems and experiences
so I gonna work out on that...

the second 1 is getting good results in spm
I still dunno how's my result,
but base on my expection, I think my result is not that well compare to what I target,
never mind, I will just pass this to God and I believe God is good... hahaha...

the first 1, is become a very successful person...
I think this job is failed... its not what I expect, anyway I just hope next year will be better... hahahaha....

in conclusion:
I have done 2 tasks, 2 failed, and 1 unconfirmed....
so, what's my new year resolution 2012?
to be continue...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Leaving

next year on 2/1 I will be leaving KL
heading to sarawak
junacco park, sibu
for training
I never experience this kind of camp
because the longest camping I went before was only 3 days
so this will be a great break through to me
I hope I can learn something from the camp
independent skills
communication skills
living skills
camping skills~~~
and...
I must gain weight and height!!!
my target: 168cm and 50kg!!
xD

Sunday, December 4, 2011

It's the most wonderful time of the year

yeah~
christmas is coming
and my spm exam is only left bc paper
so let's rejoice it~
yeah~~
how's my blog template?
I like it
compare to last year template
this year oso gt show some christmas feel~
right?
thank God and this is the season of give thanks~~ :D
share u some songs~


Friday, October 28, 2011

Its almost end of October

Its almost end of October
glad that all the relationship problems had settle
I realize this year most of my post is about friendship
so well
now I talk back to C boy, CC boy, E boy, Z boy
but....
now I quarrel with another new boy
I never angry with him in the class
so this is the first time in the year
and he is the only one boy I didn't angry in the class
now I dunwan to talk to him liao
he is Y boy

first of all
I jealous
coz he sit with another girl
argggg
not only that,
he wan to 'gek' me some more
actually this is ok
but
ytd I asked him whether wan to check my essay or not
"do u mind?"
he say he mind
"sure"
huh!
fine I know my english not good
u lazy to check all my grammar
ok lo~
today tuition oso din talk to me
suan liao lo~~
:P:P:P

Thursday, October 13, 2011

朋友7

why I got time to write blog post?
because today my revision is sejarah
so of course la this kind of subject cannot start easily...
because I will very fast lost my focus...
wakaka...
so what I will do is write something first lo...
enjoy enjoy then only start the miserable moment...
hahaha...

this post I named it as 朋友7
means I got 7 friends?
nope,
it means this is the seventh post I talked about friends...
ok so the first post I wrote is about I have loss all my friends
that time I was having cold war with cc boy, so I felt so "nothing"
so I pray to Jesus
and I knew HE is my best friend

2nd post,
I mentioned that I was suffering by E boy's temptation
I wished to friend with him but the way he talk,
is quite hard to accept...
but now ok d la~

3rd post,
I talked about whether we 3 can friend together or not...
I tried but I felt bad
the topics, the communication,
I cant take it...

4th post
I have settle my problem with cc boy
maybe everything is alright
not all
but... is in recover zone...
:)

5th post is a poem that I copied from a website

6th post is about I worried that I will single forever...

so what is 7th post about?
of course is something to do with friend as well...

today cc boy didn't come to school
y boy was going to bm seminar
e boy as usual, flirted with girls
so only left me alone
I was alone
but luckily
because a boy oso going to seminar
so c boy is alone too~
so 1+1
not alone...
I started to appreciate him
he is really a good friend
even though he didn't do anything good to me
but I can feel that when I need help he was there
for example,
I have lost my surat kebenaran
so he accompany me to take a new 1
this is a very simple thing
but I started to change my mind
erm...
c boy is not that bad la...
hahaha....
XD

I almost havin fight with the whole class guys this year
I don't know what's wrong with me
this post is not only talk about c boy, I would like to talk about z boy oso
sadly to say, I'm talking about his bad things
he never appreciate people,
and when people did wrong, he will scold people
not only that,
someone said he is a bit prejudice
I agree with this
because he always zat me
so I just take it as a test in my life
learn to be more patient
I don't understand why he so pride and prejudice
hmmm...
well...
I am not him, (luckily I'm not)
that's why I dunno...
I will try to not angry with him anymore
but still,
I will avoid talking to him
as I know his real personality...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hey Jude

I face so many relationship problems this year...
I don't know why...
Is't my problem? or their problems?
start from Jan,
I am quite close with E boy
and then some funny misunderstanding
then argued

Until Feb and March,
I having cold fight with Y boy
I was choosing whether I should stop our friendship or continue
that was a terrible and sadful moments

All these we had overcame
and this helped us to built a stronger foundation of friendship

==============================================

From April,
until now~
I having fight with C boy
another boy
he is a bit different from the other 2
because these fight occurred because of a lot of things
and misunderstanding
I don't want to list it out

==============================================

Recently
I a bit cannot tahan another boy
is ZZ boy
I dun understand he like to zat me and scold me without any reasons
he deleted me
blocked me
he took away my lrt card (June he took, now only he return)
he took my physics notes form4 chapter1
he took my sejarah nota form 5
I gave him answers in exam

last year he was a new student
but he didn't hav much friends
so I thought I have to take the responsibility to friend with him
so and now we had become good friend
but he like to emo in front of me
my friend ask me why I can tahan him like that
I didn't say anything

now he started to tease me
but if he see this
I would like to tell him this:

If you want to continue being like this, I also cannot say anything. but... I am so wonder, why I want to explained to yenthung that u didn't cheat for ur sejarah intervensi marks. I wonder why I want to say your good things to choon tik so that you won't be fired by lenbaga pengawas. I wonder why I want to book you a place and letting my friend, gih peng to sit other place when I forgot to book for you.... if you don't appreciate what your true friend did for you, then I won't treat u as a true friend as well...

===========================================

is't all my problems?
I should repent to God
for what I had did
sometimes
I really don't know what's wrong with me
I'm so confuse
so...
pls do let me know if I really wrong
thanks...


Monday, July 18, 2011

朋友6

今天我跟这位已经吵架4个月的朋友握手,
决定不再生他的气
回想起来,
我有一点小气
我是不是该反省呢?

最近很多朋友都失恋
我不知道发生了什么事
我突然觉得很怕
我很怕我连恋爱的机会都没有
我此时是很同情失恋的人
但是我也羡慕他们
至少他们曾经拥有过

原本我对这件事没有那么怕
可能现在发育时期
我特别担心这种事
之前有一位女生喜欢我
我告诉我的班
班上竟然没有人敢相信
还有人说
我想不到她会喜欢你哪一点咯
我突然心想
难道
我的价值是那么低吗?
原来,
我应该是属于没有人会喜欢的那种类型的

是我的外表的问题吗?
还是
我的性格
还是我不够成熟
我不够高?
我不够黑?
我不够壮?
我不够man?
我不够帅?
还是我很幼稚?
我很小气?
我喜欢转牛角尖?
我很吝啬?
我很无聊?
我很多余?
我很没用?

看来我必须从人际关系开始着手
学习了解我的缺点
从中学习变得更好
我会没事的
我不会终生单生吧?
:)

这是我form2写的

Monday, June 6, 2011

F for friendship

Yes, as you see, the title of the post is talking about friendship
here I have a good news to tell you all that I am willing to forgive the person that I angry recently
the guy is actually the leader of think quest group
yes it is him!
if you wan to know wat is the reason I hate him, please look for the posts of "think quest", "why?!", "queit", "final destination", "know the answer without telling me the answer"
however, there are some posts also talked about how important this leader to me
please look for www.experienceofscience1.blogspot.com for more info
hmmm.... why am I going to forgive him?
there are several reasons
no.1 I told so many people and they advise me to forgive him because they said I'm the one think too much
no.2 he guy treated me not bad, he always wave to me without any reason (I seriously dunno why)
no.3 I hope God will wash away my sins too! (actually this 1 is the most important reason)
so...
today I smiled to him already,
how?
am I doing good?
:)
this is a very simple post, but what I wanted to share is
1. with God all things are possible, God is great
2.forgive is a release, you will feel happier if you forgive somebody u hate
3. appreciate your friendship



Wednesday, June 1, 2011

6月的post

终于踏入六月的生活了
六月的生活是一个又悠闲,又繁忙的月份
因为前半个月有两个星期的假期
可以尽情的享受,休息~
但是开学后就忙了
虽然还不知道会忙什么,
但是有预感,而且往年都是这样的
更何况今年考spm
haizzzzzz

我决定用储蓄的钱买练习作
走了这条路
就不能回头了
买练习来做,要花钱
要花得值得
就是要考好成绩
要考好成绩,就要拼了
所以,我是逼不得已的
如果你们看到我stress的样子,
你们不要出奇

假期后,
肯定会忙死的
假期后,think quest的成绩会出炉
好紧张哦
下了不少心机,
希望会有回报
虽然知道不太会赢的
但是希望还有一点award啦~

还有一个国际的比赛已经报名参加了,
虽然不知道是几时
但是知道会在六月比赛
希望我不会连累整个组咯

话说回来,
六月假期我要做的事情很多
1.完成还没做完的功课
2.读完至少1本书 (how to make anyone like u)
3.庆功宴
4.。。。

六月还有特别的一天,
那就是我的生日哦~
哈哈~
期待你们要送我的礼物
我今年送那么多人礼物
再加上跟大家深入的感情
希望我能够收到礼物咯~
哈哈。。。
但是。。。
我生日那天会拿华语和生物学成绩
好担心哦。。。

六月也希望能在上帝的爱中继续在教会里成长
让我成为更成熟的人 :)

六月会怎样呢?
我还不知道
虽然没有一个很好的开始
但是我会期待
希望今年的六月让我留下美好的回忆
:)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Final Destination

I know this topic is a bit scary, hahaha, but if you think a different way, it is a good title for this topic too! haha...

Today I was not around at school, because I in charge in the kejohanan bola sepak's medic. So, phei lian, shih kei, and the guy finished it at school. After I went back home, I called shih kei, shih kei told me that teacher already submit the work.... yeah~ and from the facebook, the guy also send the message that our work are done. yeah~

Finally, our project, successfully submit to ..........

FINAL DESTINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

which is also call internet la... hahaha....

I don't expect we can win in this competition, but in this competition, I really learnt a lot! I learnt more about teenager's problems, more knowledges about teenagers behavior. (if you ask me what are the content, I cant tell you, because according to anwar al-junid's law, he states that if after a class you can say out what you've learn means you didn't learn all, if you cannot say out means all the knowledge already stick inside your brain. haha), not only that, I also learnt about documentation, and lastly, how to treat friends nicely.

I should understand everybody's feeling and as a group, we should have a team leader. As a secretary in the group, I learnt to divide the group and help each other whoever is need help.

So, our celebration dinner is on! is on 1/6, we will probably go to KLCC or pavilion... yeah... :D

Thanks giving part:
I would like to thank God for giving me a chance to take part in this competition and learn to love God more and how to treat people nicely

I would like to thank all my group members for giving me support and all your commitments!

Shih Kei and Hoong Ling, thank you for listening my feelings when I was sad...

Pn Basirah, even though she didn't help a lot in the group, but without her, we also cannot submit the project

Pn Elaine, Ruth Liew and few 5a3/4 students, thanks for your information and interview

my family members, for comforting me and give me financial needs

and everybody!!!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Quiet

Today is suppose to submit the project, however, teachers and the leader, the guy was not around, so my friends and I have to rush and finish it in the lab.

We are suppose to post what we did inside our think quest account so that teacher can combine all. howver, 3 members are unable to to log in their account so I suggest to put all my information inside my account. today I skip all the seminars to just rush for this project.

After I went back home from tuition, the guy called me. he said that he cant open my account and combine all with teacher. So he said tomorrow morning must gather all finish it. I ask him why cannot just take all information from my account (since I can log in my account), he say he will explain to me tomorrow because he is too tired to settle the problem with teacher.

I am so angry and disappointed. How come he says until like he is the only one did all the thing?! not only that I even cannot understand why he say want to separate all the information to them again and combine it back? since today the whole day I already combine all... that time I was very angry to him...

After that, I really thank God for comforting me as I read this tag from my sister:When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

not only that, God always does thing right! His way is always the best way,even if to us it seems all wrong. TRUST! You can be sure that he will always give you what you need at the appropriate time.

Not only that, there is 1 song that touches my heart
I thank God for wanting me to rest and quiet myself to not rushing for everything

I ask the guy for teacher hp, after I call the teacher, teacher explain to me why we need to separate it again, then only I realize it.

Even though what I did today is not useful anymore, but my friends appreciate it and they thanked me. and I believe my God in Heaven also understand my feeling and finally things will be settle tomorrow....

Here is one song that touches my heart...


Sunday, April 24, 2011

Why?


I always wonder why the guy will angry to me. Is it because he really thinks that the group members’ standard is really low to him? Or he never ever dissatisfied with others? Or he only not satisfied with me?

I have asked him this question many times. I find him personally, I sms him, I find him on facebook. But still, he refuses to answer that question. I blocked him inside the toilet and force him to tell me. Not only that, when he escape, I pulled him and forcing him to answer. Perhaps is too shy for him to say my problem face by face. So I prefer to sms him. I ask him about homework first but after 1 day only he replies my message. Perhaps he doesn’t want to waste his money by telling my problem in hand phone. Final choice, I asked him on facebook. Still, he say he don’t hate me. I am so disappointed.

“If you don’t want to explain to me why you hate me, then I will do something that really makes you angry until you tell me!”

I told him this. After that, I wrote a letter to him. From the letter I said that he is trying to manipulate the think quest group. This is because I still see him typing using the old title which is called “The next generation” since we already change the topic to “Teenager”. So, the word ‘manipulate’ in the letter really makes him angry. That is the first time he scold me, not only the first time scold me, also the first time scold anyone. I told him the main thing I wrote the letter to him is not about he manipulate the group title. I just wanted him to tell me my problem. After he scolded me was pjk class. Everybody went out and played. I am the only person who hide inside the classroom and I picked back the broken letter rend by him from the basket. I checked back the letter word by word. I never think that this letter can really make him angry.

After the class, he still smiled to me and… as usual, he acts like he want to friend with me which will causes people misunderstanding me very angry to him. Edwin told me, “Don’t be so angry just because people scolded you, otherwise you are the loser. Always pretend like you are very calm”

The night after we argue, I argue with him in facebook again, and sms as well.... TT

Few days ago, he said something that really makes me VERY VERY angry… after I gave him the pen drive so that he can gather all the information; he said I am copy paster! Yes, some of the information I did copy and paste. This is because my English not very good, how can you expecting me to edit it?! I also tried to edit it, but I spend 3 to 4 hours to just edit an essay. Please, don’t call me copy paster. That time I was very angry and I threw my bag at him. Huh!

I won’t see him for the whole week because of some reasons. Maybe this is the time for me to relax myself and refresh back is it correct what I have done before to him.

To be continue...


this is the red letter, I picked back.

Think Quest


There is one international competition which is called Think Quest. There are 6 of us participate in this competition… This is a big challenge for all of us because this is the first time we work together. Perhaps there is a good beginning… however, in our group, we loss one thing that is important… which is mentally connection a.k.a. understanding to each other.

I don’t know what is happen that causes our relationship becomes worse… and broken… We only have 2 weeks to finish the project but we spent 1 week to discuss what topic to do. The first week we don’t have a leader to guide us. When we discuss what topic to do, there is someone who doesn’t like to join us. He is the one who quit the meeting earlier, sometimes not even want to join us. One of my teammates asks me: “He seems like not really like to join us.” I felt so sad. This guy always has a lot of idea in our group but I myself also think that he seems like do not like to join us because from my observation and my understanding to the guy, his English is the best among 6 of us. Not only that, he has very wide general knowledge. Before that we planned to do something do with politic, economic, and social issues. However, there is another girl in our group, she said that its very hard for her to do this topic finally we stop this topic. That’s why he seems like he doesn’t like to join us. Maybe he thinks that our standard is different to him.

I argue with the guy and I ask him what my problem is. He does not admit that he is not satisfied with me. Some more he pretend like he is very close to me. I don’t know which 1 is true but I realize after I joined this competition, I had some friction with the guy. I also had a very first experience to get scolded by the guy. No one saw him angry before, I’m the first 1. Is that my problem, or his problem? I don’t know. Maybe he is really satisfied with the group.

Will celebration dinner on? How are we gonna face each other the day after tomorrow? To be continue...

(those of you after read the post pls dun let any1 of the member know... thanks...)

Friday, April 8, 2011

Canteen day- 朋友的眼光

这几天我的post怎样都不会脱离朋友这个话题
今天是canteen day
我也‘吃’得很开心
哈哈
十块钱的coupon 全部用来吃东西
因为我就是爱吃

十块钱
三块买laksa penang (超好吃)
三块买水,teh ais 普通, grape juice很好喝
两块吃rojak,普通,跟外面一样,ok lo~
一块买hot dog, 好吃
一块买薯条

就这样咯~

==================================
现在要讲今天人际关系的感想

今天宋伟不能来,
很可惜,
其实他想来的,
但是他母亲不给
其实今天是他的生日嘛,
为什么还要从早补到完呢?
虽然说今年是spm
但是抽出一天来享受一下,
我觉得影响不会多到哪里去咯

宋伟曾经是我要好的朋友
在巴士上,
我们无所不谈
因为在学校都扮到不认识,
所以就算把秘密说出来
都不需要好害怕的
他转校后,
对我改变很大
他的转校,
使我开始学看小说
因为在巴士很寂寞
也因为他转校
我就更早回家
(巴士行程排法有所改变)

今天还看到了tze ing
他高了很多
为什么?!

今天跟edwin较少谈天,
因为他忙着他的东西

我还看到了loke seng
虽然他很孤单,
但是我也爱莫能助
谁叫他的朋友放他飞机
跟他又没有什么话题
我能力已尽了
但是很开心他能来
因为他一直都很想回来看一看的

今天christopher当了dj
感觉很爽
但是我觉得他很累
所以自愿去问他要吃什么
然后帮他买
他好像很感激我
我也很开心
当作是当了一个会关心人的朋友咯

跟艺平和志聪做medic
很开心哦
很久没有一起三个人
坐着谈天
想回最后一次这样是几时呢?
可能是中三哦

我还看到了教会我数学的思立青
很开心能看到她
她变美了很多哦

今天跟zaeed没有吵架
他的心情也很好一下
他帮老师卖东西
我要去买时,
他说:cikgu, jangan jual kat Yen Sern!
然后大家笑笑后,
我说:saya nak zaeed yang serve saya!
哈哈。。。

司琦玩fire fox哦
她还说她不怕
她真的很厉害

sue rui借了我功课做
这样回家后就不用再作
谢谢啦

放学后,还跟yi yen谈了一点
然后坐jin wei的车回
听她们说话
我都觉得很开心

虽然我不知道我的风浪结束了没有
但是我还是要坚强走下去
因为我相信乌云背后会有蓝天
所以我要坚强走下去
:)



Wednesday, April 6, 2011

我走不下去了

我好想在这里把所有的问题写出来
但是,
我真的很难写出来
如果要我对每个我得罪的人说对不起,
我看我这辈子怎样都说不完
我突然觉得。。。
我真的很sinful

如果要我慢慢地把所有人际关系的问题例出来
我会尽量写
但是遗漏的
肯定很多

第一,
关于前两个
舍得,舍得2
里面说的那个人,
今天跟他澄清
结果又被指责
haizzzz
虽然他表面跟我说他没有生气,
但是我觉得
他应该还是很在意
因为他不要收我的chocolate
说真的,
我宁愿他收下,
至少他愿意领受我的歉意
但是他说他没有生气我,
所以不要收
haizzzz
我所付出的,
没有得到回报不用紧,
还不被认同
好失落

第二,
我想澄清,
我跟她是好朋友罢了
是永远的好朋友
但是很多人都误会,
导致她生气我了
现在,
我也有可能少了一个朋友
因为我跟传我跟她的绯闻的老师说
“是她每次来找我啦”
我只是开玩笑,
但是没有想到她很在意
有时我不知道,
是其他人敏感
还是我有事做事情很过分

我个人认为这些玩笑很小事罢了
但是很多次了,
人家都生气
真的是我的问题吗?
我应该反省一下

还有,
另外一个异族朋友
之前很少朋友的
但是最近每次对我大骂
我也顶不顺他了

今天我把所有问题这些问题例出来
看到的人
应该觉得我很令人讨厌吧
我也这么觉得

在此,
我想对这些人说声对不起
我不知道我该如何面对你们
我明天不想去学校了
因为不知道该找谁说话

我有时觉得,
我在这个世界很多余
属灵生命又不是很好
人际关系更加烂
有人说我的人际关系好
但是,
看透我内心深处的人
就知道不是了
我在人际关系这条路
好像掉进死阴幽谷了
我。。。
走不下去了。。。
有谁可以拉我上来?
扶持我?

我曾经想要当一个使人和睦的人
因为班上很多人都互相讨厌
但是,
我还能做到吗?
我都那么令人讨厌了
我还能吗?
我。。。
快不行了。。。

明天我可能会坐在班里的角落,
这样才不会让人看到我

把问题说出来,
不是刻意要贬低人家名誉
而是抒发
在这里
很想说声,对不起。
还有,
这是我的祷告:

主啊,
我知道你爱我,
我来到你的面前,
向主你道歉
我亏欠你
我对不起你
我知道
我错了
我求上帝赦免我
我的所作所为
我也要向主你说
我爱你
愿神你聆听我的祷告
谢谢主
奉主耶稣的名字祷告,
阿门

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

舍得2

今天当事人没有来学校
所以没有机会送到
但是这也成为了另外一个我们友情关系复原的大好机会
因为我可以帮他拿功课

但是,
有人却说
送chocolate太过浪漫
只有男朋友送女朋友chocolate
但是以前的他,
也这样送过男性同学哦
怎么办啊?

刚才我send了他一封message
我告诉他我帮他拿了功课
想顺便问他一些东西
但是。。。
他竟然没有复我
有一点失望咯~
算了,
可能他还没气消~
等明天吧!
:)

今天发生的大小事物:

1. 周记不见了!!

2.add math quiz 有些不会做,但是跟朋友讨论了终于明白!!

3.去看志聪做animation,才知道原来不容易

4.bm quiz 对17/20, 大突破!

5.试了koperasi卖的pudding,蛮不错哦!

:)

Monday, April 4, 2011

舍得

人际关系上的突破
还没有解决

这次要讲的是拥抱
之前我一直所说的“诱惑”
其实就是我很想去抱一个人
就是觉得爽
还吃了他不少豆腐
这样算来,
都蛮多一下

终于,
他顶不顺了
他说:“如果你再这样我就告诉老师”
我没有想过他那么serious
我也吓了一跳
我真的承受不了
以后再也不能抱他了
有一点失望
(其实我也是过分一点了拉~)

但是如果让我选
我宁愿努力挽救这段友情
因为
友情比拥抱重要
我不想因为这种小事令他觉得反感
所以我就去了一间便利店
买了一个chocolate
打算明天送给他
因为我记得宋伟以前讲过
这个人会送chocolate来表达感激
所以chocolate这样东西对他意义非凡吧~

这个chocolate
花了我RM3
也就是三天的早餐
所以连续三天都要吭面包咯

如果你问我
值不值得
我说值得
因为如果能用RM3来换回一段友情
我所能得到的
会比RM3还值钱
也有可能,
他会被我所感动
决定让我拼命抱他
hahaha
(开玩笑啦)

=====================================

上bio 节时
突然觉得自己在班上很多余
班上的男生有9位
如果两位一pair来算的话,
我就是多出来那位

Faiq+Haidhar(同班很多年,一起玩了很久)
Yogern+Chris (唯一用英文沟通,两人在一起最好谈)
Anwar+Zaeed (都是被冷落的,老师放他们在一起)
CC+Edwin(很多共同的话题,尤其是周杰伦)
陈衍升+空气=〉陈衍升+空气 (no reaction)

但是我发现我不能这样想
上帝造每个人都是重要
我知道
上帝是爱我的
所以,
我并不孤单
:)
(我不会想不开的)

题目叫舍得,
所以送上这首歌
许如云的泪海


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Thank you

thank you for being my friend...
no matter what situation I am facing...
you are always be there with me
I don't understand why
for treating me so nicely
even though I am not perfect
but you had chosen me
to be with you
not because of what I've done
or who I am
is because of who you are
thank you for your love
thank you for your patient
and I'm so sorry about what I've done to you
what can I do?
I know I'm not perfect
but thank you for accepting me
and my everything
:)

secondly, thank you to my family
for always love me,
and let my life to full with joys, happiness
my closest, family
you are the one who always guide me
tutoring me
so that I can become better
thank you.....

thirdly, thank you to my school friends
because of you all,
I'm not alone in school
even though now I am facing some troubles
however,
I hope things can turn into better way...
I don't know what will happen tomorrow
things can become worse and worse in one day
but I know that
God will make a way...
so my friend,
no matter what...
I would still like to say
thank you