Final Destination

I know this topic is a bit scary, hahaha, but if you think a different way, it is a good title for this topic too! haha...

Today I was not around at school, because I in charge in the kejohanan bola sepak's medic. So, phei lian, shih kei, and the guy finished it at school. After I went back home, I called shih kei, shih kei told me that teacher already submit the work.... yeah~ and from the facebook, the guy also send the message that our work are done. yeah~

Finally, our project, successfully submit to ..........

FINAL DESTINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

which is also call internet la... hahaha....

I don't expect we can win in this competition, but in this competition, I really learnt a lot! I learnt more about teenager's problems, more knowledges about teenagers behavior. (if you ask me what are the content, I cant tell you, because according to anwar al-junid's law, he states that if after a class you can say out what you've learn means you didn't learn all, if you cannot say out means all the knowledge already stick inside your brain. haha), not only that, I also learnt about documentation, and lastly, how to treat friends nicely.

I should understand everybody's feeling and as a group, we should have a team leader. As a secretary in the group, I learnt to divide the group and help each other whoever is need help.

So, our celebration dinner is on! is on 1/6, we will probably go to KLCC or pavilion... yeah... :D

Thanks giving part:

I would like to thank God for giving me a chance to take part in this competition and learn to love God more and how to treat people nicely

I would like to thank all my group members for giving me support and all your commitments!

Shih Kei and Hoong Ling, thank you for listening my feelings when I was sad...

Pn Basirah, even though she didn't help a lot in the group, but without her, we also cannot submit the project

Pn Elaine, Ruth Liew and few 5a3/4 students, thanks for your information and interview

my family members, for comforting me and give me financial needs

and everybody!!!!

Quiet

Today is suppose to submit the project, however, teachers and the leader, the guy was not around, so my friends and I have to rush and finish it in the lab.

We are suppose to post what we did inside our think quest account so that teacher can combine all. howver, 3 members are unable to to log in their account so I suggest to put all my information inside my account. today I skip all the seminars to just rush for this project.

After I went back home from tuition, the guy called me. he said that he cant open my account and combine all with teacher. So he said tomorrow morning must gather all finish it. I ask him why cannot just take all information from my account (since I can log in my account), he say he will explain to me tomorrow because he is too tired to settle the problem with teacher.

I am so angry and disappointed. How come he says until like he is the only one did all the thing?! not only that I even cannot understand why he say want to separate all the information to them again and combine it back? since today the whole day I already combine all... that time I was very angry to him...

After that, I really thank God for comforting me as I read this tag from my sister:When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

not only that, God always does thing right! His way is always the best way,even if to us it seems all wrong. TRUST! You can be sure that he will always give you what you need at the appropriate time.

Not only that, there is 1 song that touches my heart

I thank God for wanting me to rest and quiet myself to not rushing for everything

I ask the guy for teacher hp, after I call the teacher, teacher explain to me why we need to separate it again, then only I realize it.

Even though what I did today is not useful anymore, but my friends appreciate it and they thanked me. and I believe my God in Heaven also understand my feeling and finally things will be settle tomorrow....

Here is one song that touches my heart...

Why?

I always wonder why the guy will angry to me. Is it because he really thinks that the group members’ standard is really low to him? Or he never ever dissatisfied with others? Or he only not satisfied with me?

I have asked him this question many times. I find him personally, I sms him, I find him on facebook. But still, he refuses to answer that question. I blocked him inside the toilet and force him to tell me. Not only that, when he escape, I pulled him and forcing him to answer. Perhaps is too shy for him to say my problem face by face. So I prefer to sms him. I ask him about homework first but after 1 day only he replies my message. Perhaps he doesn’t want to waste his money by telling my problem in hand phone. Final choice, I asked him on facebook. Still, he say he don’t hate me. I am so disappointed.

“If you don’t want to explain to me why you hate me, then I will do something that really makes you angry until you tell me!”

I told him this. After that, I wrote a letter to him. From the letter I said that he is trying to manipulate the think quest group. This is because I still see him typing using the old title which is called “The next generation” since we already change the topic to “Teenager”. So, the word ‘manipulate’ in the letter really makes him angry. That is the first time he scold me, not only the first time scold me, also the first time scold anyone. I told him the main thing I wrote the letter to him is not about he manipulate the group title. I just wanted him to tell me my problem. After he scolded me was pjk class. Everybody went out and played. I am the only person who hide inside the classroom and I picked back the broken letter rend by him from the basket. I checked back the letter word by word. I never think that this letter can really make him angry.

After the class, he still smiled to me and… as usual, he acts like he want to friend with me which will causes people misunderstanding me very angry to him. Edwin told me, “Don’t be so angry just because people scolded you, otherwise you are the loser. Always pretend like you are very calm”

The night after we argue, I argue with him in facebook again, and sms as well.... TT

Few days ago, he said something that really makes me VERY VERY angry… after I gave him the pen drive so that he can gather all the information; he said I am copy paster! Yes, some of the information I did copy and paste. This is because my English not very good, how can you expecting me to edit it?! I also tried to edit it, but I spend 3 to 4 hours to just edit an essay. Please, don’t call me copy paster. That time I was very angry and I threw my bag at him. Huh!

I won’t see him for the whole week because of some reasons. Maybe this is the time for me to relax myself and refresh back is it correct what I have done before to him.

To be continue...

this is the red letter, I picked back.

Think Quest

There is one international competition which is called Think Quest. There are 6 of us participate in this competition… This is a big challenge for all of us because this is the first time we work together. Perhaps there is a good beginning… however, in our group, we loss one thing that is important… which is mentally connection a.k.a. understanding to each other.

I don’t know what is happen that causes our relationship becomes worse… and broken… We only have 2 weeks to finish the project but we spent 1 week to discuss what topic to do. The first week we don’t have a leader to guide us. When we discuss what topic to do, there is someone who doesn’t like to join us. He is the one who quit the meeting earlier, sometimes not even want to join us. One of my teammates asks me: “He seems like not really like to join us.” I felt so sad. This guy always has a lot of idea in our group but I myself also think that he seems like do not like to join us because from my observation and my understanding to the guy, his English is the best among 6 of us. Not only that, he has very wide general knowledge. Before that we planned to do something do with politic, economic, and social issues. However, there is another girl in our group, she said that its very hard for her to do this topic finally we stop this topic. That’s why he seems like he doesn’t like to join us. Maybe he thinks that our standard is different to him.

I argue with the guy and I ask him what my problem is. He does not admit that he is not satisfied with me. Some more he pretend like he is very close to me. I don’t know which 1 is true but I realize after I joined this competition, I had some friction with the guy. I also had a very first experience to get scolded by the guy. No one saw him angry before, I’m the first 1. Is that my problem, or his problem? I don’t know. Maybe he is really satisfied with the group.

Will celebration dinner on? How are we gonna face each other the day after tomorrow? To be continue...

(those of you after read the post pls dun let any1 of the member know... thanks...)

Canteen day- 朋友的眼光

这几天我的post怎样都不会脱离朋友这个话题

今天是canteen day

我也‘吃’得很开心

哈哈

十块钱的coupon 全部用来吃东西

因为我就是爱吃

十块钱

三块买laksa penang (超好吃）

三块买水，teh ais 普通， grape juice很好喝

两块吃rojak，普通，跟外面一样，ok lo~

一块买hot dog, 好吃

一块买薯条

就这样咯~

==================================

现在要讲今天人际关系的感想

今天宋伟不能来，

很可惜，

其实他想来的，

但是他母亲不给

其实今天是他的生日嘛，

为什么还要从早补到完呢？

虽然说今年是spm

但是抽出一天来享受一下，

我觉得影响不会多到哪里去咯

宋伟曾经是我要好的朋友

在巴士上，

我们无所不谈

因为在学校都扮到不认识，

所以就算把秘密说出来

都不需要好害怕的

他转校后，

对我改变很大

他的转校，

使我开始学看小说

因为在巴士很寂寞

也因为他转校

我就更早回家

（巴士行程排法有所改变）

今天还看到了tze ing

他高了很多

为什么？！

今天跟edwin较少谈天，

因为他忙着他的东西

我还看到了loke seng

虽然他很孤单，

但是我也爱莫能助

谁叫他的朋友放他飞机

跟他又没有什么话题

我能力已尽了

但是很开心他能来

因为他一直都很想回来看一看的

今天christopher当了dj

感觉很爽

但是我觉得他很累

所以自愿去问他要吃什么

然后帮他买

他好像很感激我

我也很开心

当作是当了一个会关心人的朋友咯

跟艺平和志聪做medic

很开心哦

很久没有一起三个人

坐着谈天

想回最后一次这样是几时呢？

可能是中三哦

我还看到了教会我数学的思立青

很开心能看到她

她变美了很多哦

今天跟zaeed没有吵架

他的心情也很好一下

他帮老师卖东西

我要去买时，

他说：cikgu, jangan jual kat Yen Sern!

然后大家笑笑后，

我说：saya nak zaeed yang serve saya!

哈哈。。。

司琦玩fire fox哦

她还说她不怕

她真的很厉害

sue rui借了我功课做

这样回家后就不用再作

谢谢啦

放学后，还跟yi yen谈了一点

然后坐jin wei的车回

听她们说话

我都觉得很开心

虽然我不知道我的风浪结束了没有

但是我还是要坚强走下去

因为我相信乌云背后会有蓝天

所以我要坚强走下去

:)

再见了，小丑

从今天起

我不再是那个

嬉皮笑脸的我

每天送给大家欢乐

但是心里却隐藏着

孤独的悲痛

从今天起

我不再是那个

自愚娱人的我

我再次了解

不是每个人都爱这套

我选择自娱自己

因为。。。

娱乐别人好吗?

我脱下面具

戴上残酷

走上沉默的道路

我往向南极

对着北方的小丑说

再见了！

我走不下去了

我好想在这里把所有的问题写出来

但是，

我真的很难写出来

如果要我对每个我得罪的人说对不起，

我看我这辈子怎样都说不完

我突然觉得。。。

我真的很sinful

如果要我慢慢地把所有人际关系的问题例出来

我会尽量写

但是遗漏的

肯定很多

第一，

关于前两个

舍得，舍得2

里面说的那个人，

今天跟他澄清

结果又被指责

haizzzz

虽然他表面跟我说他没有生气，

但是我觉得

他应该还是很在意

因为他不要收我的chocolate

说真的，

我宁愿他收下，

至少他愿意领受我的歉意

但是他说他没有生气我，

所以不要收

haizzzz

我所付出的，

没有得到回报不用紧，

还不被认同

好失落

第二，

我想澄清，

我跟她是好朋友罢了

是永远的好朋友

但是很多人都误会，

导致她生气我了

现在，

我也有可能少了一个朋友

因为我跟传我跟她的绯闻的老师说

“是她每次来找我啦”

我只是开玩笑，

但是没有想到她很在意

有时我不知道，

是其他人敏感

还是我有事做事情很过分

我个人认为这些玩笑很小事罢了

但是很多次了，

人家都生气

真的是我的问题吗？

我应该反省一下

还有，

另外一个异族朋友

之前很少朋友的

但是最近每次对我大骂

我也顶不顺他了

今天我把所有问题这些问题例出来

看到的人

应该觉得我很令人讨厌吧

我也这么觉得

在此，

我想对这些人说声对不起

我不知道我该如何面对你们

我明天不想去学校了

因为不知道该找谁说话

我有时觉得，

我在这个世界很多余

属灵生命又不是很好

人际关系更加烂

有人说我的人际关系好

但是，

看透我内心深处的人

就知道不是了

我在人际关系这条路

好像掉进死阴幽谷了

我。。。

走不下去了。。。

有谁可以拉我上来?

扶持我？

我曾经想要当一个使人和睦的人

因为班上很多人都互相讨厌

但是，

我还能做到吗？

我都那么令人讨厌了

我还能吗？

我。。。

快不行了。。。

明天我可能会坐在班里的角落，

这样才不会让人看到我

把问题说出来，

不是刻意要贬低人家名誉

而是抒发

在这里

很想说声，对不起。

还有，

这是我的祷告：

主啊，

我知道你爱我，

我来到你的面前，

向主你道歉

我亏欠你

我对不起你

我知道

我错了

我求上帝赦免我

我的所作所为

我也要向主你说

我爱你

愿神你聆听我的祷告

谢谢主

奉主耶稣的名字祷告，

阿门

舍得2

今天当事人没有来学校

所以没有机会送到

但是这也成为了另外一个我们友情关系复原的大好机会

因为我可以帮他拿功课

但是，

有人却说

送chocolate太过浪漫

只有男朋友送女朋友chocolate

但是以前的他，

也这样送过男性同学哦

怎么办啊？

刚才我send了他一封message

我告诉他我帮他拿了功课

想顺便问他一些东西

但是。。。

他竟然没有复我

有一点失望咯~

算了，

可能他还没气消~

等明天吧！

：）

今天发生的大小事物：

1. 周记不见了！！

2.add math quiz 有些不会做，但是跟朋友讨论了终于明白！！

3.去看志聪做animation，才知道原来不容易

4.bm quiz 对17/20， 大突破！

5.试了koperasi卖的pudding,蛮不错哦！

:)

舍得

人际关系上的突破

还没有解决

这次要讲的是拥抱

之前我一直所说的“诱惑”

其实就是我很想去抱一个人

就是觉得爽

还吃了他不少豆腐

这样算来，

都蛮多一下

终于，

他顶不顺了

他说：“如果你再这样我就告诉老师”

我没有想过他那么serious

我也吓了一跳

我真的承受不了

以后再也不能抱他了

有一点失望

（其实我也是过分一点了拉~）

但是如果让我选

我宁愿努力挽救这段友情

因为

友情比拥抱重要

我不想因为这种小事令他觉得反感

所以我就去了一间便利店

买了一个chocolate

打算明天送给他

因为我记得宋伟以前讲过

这个人会送chocolate来表达感激

所以chocolate这样东西对他意义非凡吧~

这个chocolate

花了我RM3

也就是三天的早餐

所以连续三天都要吭面包咯

如果你问我

值不值得

我说值得

因为如果能用RM3来换回一段友情

我所能得到的

会比RM3还值钱

也有可能，

他会被我所感动

决定让我拼命抱他

hahaha

（开玩笑啦）

=====================================

上bio 节时

突然觉得自己在班上很多余

班上的男生有9位

如果两位一pair来算的话，

我就是多出来那位

Faiq+Haidhar(同班很多年，一起玩了很久）

Yogern+Chris (唯一用英文沟通，两人在一起最好谈）

Anwar+Zaeed (都是被冷落的，老师放他们在一起）

CC+Edwin(很多共同的话题，尤其是周杰伦）

陈衍升+空气=〉陈衍升+空气 (no reaction)

但是我发现我不能这样想

上帝造每个人都是重要

我知道

上帝是爱我的

所以，

我并不孤单

:)

(我不会想不开的）

题目叫舍得，

所以送上这首歌

许如云的泪海