2011 wishlist

I still remember when I wrote my 2011 wishlist

I have gave myself some simple tasks and some are quite hard to do it...

its only 5 wishlist

2011 wish list

1. 进入丰盛

2. spm 考到理想的成绩

3. 人际关系有突破

4. 背包旅行

5. 圣灵充满

ok, so base on these 5 wishlist

if we look at the bottom 1, receive holy spirit and speak in tongue

I guess maybe its not the time yet, so I failed this task

let's look at the 4th,

bag packing,

I've plan a bag packing but since we are still young,

and many things are inconvenience

so we canceled it and ended up with a graduation trip

never mind, I'm quite satisfied with it. :)

next, break through in relationship

yes it is, since this year I've argue with so many friends,

chinese say: 不打不相识 right?

in school I've learn to forgive,

somehow in church I still couldn't find a true close friends to share spiritual problems and experiences

so I gonna work out on that...

the second 1 is getting good results in spm

I still dunno how's my result,

but base on my expection, I think my result is not that well compare to what I target,

never mind, I will just pass this to God and I believe God is good... hahaha...

the first 1, is become a very successful person...

I think this job is failed... its not what I expect, anyway I just hope next year will be better... hahahaha....

in conclusion:

I have done 2 tasks, 2 failed, and 1 unconfirmed....

so, what's my new year resolution 2012?

to be continue...

Leaving

next year on 2/1 I will be leaving KL

heading to sarawak

junacco park, sibu

for training

I never experience this kind of camp

because the longest camping I went before was only 3 days

so this will be a great break through to me

I hope I can learn something from the camp

independent skills

communication skills

living skills

camping skills~~~

and...

I must gain weight and height!!!

my target: 168cm and 50kg!!

xD

It's the most wonderful time of the year

yeah~

christmas is coming

and my spm exam is only left bc paper

so let's rejoice it~

yeah~~

how's my blog template?

I like it

compare to last year template

this year oso gt show some christmas feel~

right?

thank God and this is the season of give thanks~~ :D

share u some songs~

Its almost end of October

Its almost end of October

glad that all the relationship problems had settle

I realize this year most of my post is about friendship

so well

now I talk back to C boy, CC boy, E boy, Z boy

but....

now I quarrel with another new boy

I never angry with him in the class

so this is the first time in the year

and he is the only one boy I didn't angry in the class

now I dunwan to talk to him liao

he is Y boy

first of all

I jealous

coz he sit with another girl

argggg

not only that,

he wan to 'gek' me some more

actually this is ok

but

ytd I asked him whether wan to check my essay or not

"do u mind?"

he say he mind

"sure"

huh!

fine I know my english not good

u lazy to check all my grammar

ok lo~

today tuition oso din talk to me

suan liao lo~~

:P:P:P

朋友7

why I got time to write blog post?

because today my revision is sejarah

so of course la this kind of subject cannot start easily...

because I will very fast lost my focus...

wakaka...

so what I will do is write something first lo...

enjoy enjoy then only start the miserable moment...

hahaha...

this post I named it as 朋友7

means I got 7 friends?

nope,

it means this is the seventh post I talked about friends...

ok so the first post I wrote is about I have loss all my friends

that time I was having cold war with cc boy, so I felt so "nothing"

so I pray to Jesus

and I knew HE is my best friend

2nd post,

I mentioned that I was suffering by E boy's temptation

I wished to friend with him but the way he talk,

is quite hard to accept...

but now ok d la~

3rd post,

I talked about whether we 3 can friend together or not...

I tried but I felt bad

the topics, the communication,

I cant take it...

4th post

I have settle my problem with cc boy

maybe everything is alright

not all

but... is in recover zone...

:)

5th post is a poem that I copied from a website

6th post is about I worried that I will single forever...

so what is 7th post about?

of course is something to do with friend as well...

today cc boy didn't come to school

y boy was going to bm seminar

e boy as usual, flirted with girls

so only left me alone

I was alone

but luckily

because a boy oso going to seminar

so c boy is alone too~

so 1+1

not alone...

I started to appreciate him

he is really a good friend

even though he didn't do anything good to me

but I can feel that when I need help he was there

for example,

I have lost my surat kebenaran

so he accompany me to take a new 1

this is a very simple thing

but I started to change my mind

erm...

c boy is not that bad la...

hahaha....

XD

I almost havin fight with the whole class guys this year

I don't know what's wrong with me

this post is not only talk about c boy, I would like to talk about z boy oso

sadly to say, I'm talking about his bad things

he never appreciate people,

and when people did wrong, he will scold people

not only that,

someone said he is a bit prejudice

I agree with this

because he always zat me

so I just take it as a test in my life

learn to be more patient

I don't understand why he so pride and prejudice

hmmm...

well...

I am not him, (luckily I'm not)

that's why I dunno...

I will try to not angry with him anymore

but still,

I will avoid talking to him

as I know his real personality...

angryyyyyyyyyy

I am very angry now!!!!!!!!

let me release the anger here plsssssssss

I hate him

I hate him very much

I wish to scold him with rude words but I cant

I very angry ahhhhhhhhhhh

how to express??!!!!

express here laaaaaaaaaaaaa

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

huh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how come got such people in the world!?!

never appreciate people good nvm

still wan to scold me?!!!!

!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fine dun talk to me anymore

dun ask my help anymore

dun look at me anymore (I'm too handsome, u think u wan to see can just see like tht? no way!!)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

huh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[express oni]

:)

I'm ok now...

pls pray for me....

The Power of YOUR WORDS

This is a good testimony/ sharing of God's words...

I would like to share with you about how is the power of God's word release the freedom of forgiveness...

The following plot will overall describe the journey~

April

- I joined a competition with C boy

- I argued with the C boy during discussion

May

- I threw my bag to him because he said I'm copy paster

- I wrote letter to him, he koyak it

June

- cold fight

- celebration lunch he flew the kite

July

- I try to friend with him and asked him school stuff but he refuse to teach me

August

- tried to change his mind but failed

- cold fight

So many friends asked why I angry to him

I always gave the same answers

actually I also don't know why I wanted to angry to him

because I really wish to friend with him

then I can learn to speak well in english

but maybe we did not have good understanding to each other

God's word warned me from continues to act like hating him

I accidently saw this verse...

John 1 chapter 4 verse 20

Those who say, ‘I love God’, and hate their brothers or sisters,^* are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister^* whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen.

At the end, I prefer to stop acting hate him and start to talk to him back...

At the end of this story

I learn to be more mature

sometimes I just like to emo without any reasons

especially wat I wrote in the post "Erase"

I learnt the skill to communicate

the final destination of the Think Quest problem

should be solved by now...

even though I dunno whether he hate me or not

and what is the reasons,

but as long as I show my responsibilities

I change my attitude,

then I believe God will make everything to be alright

:)

just like today I smiled to Z boy

and he wave to me too

maybe this is a good ending

without teasing anymore

and I believe God will heal the relationship

Thank God

I will become a good Christian

and show a good example

to the people

to shine in the world

and Holy Spirit please fill my heart

because I need your power, love...

I want to end this sharing with a song,

but before that,

I would like to tell you,

God's word is really powerful

no matter what religion you are

you can try to pray

and believe in God's words

because HE is almighty God :)

Halo, Spm

Halo, Spm

u are coming, and I will come too

I will work hard, try my best

Using Jesus almighty name

to defeat you!!

==========================

So,

I will sacrifice my internet time

to study

first of all,

I will cut down the time to play computer

to 30-45 minutes a day

(include blog and facebook)

but not including listening to songs

becoz I used to do calculations and write essay when I listening to songs

next,

I will sacrifice my study time

at least 1 subject a day

I will focus on science subjects

especially Biology and Chemistry

but for this trial exam, I will work harder on physics and add math

bcoz of some reasons

after that,

I will increase time to read Bible and pray with all my heart!

bcoz I know I need God to be with me

in all the journey

no matter what

Jesus, I need you

without You, I cant do anything

so

please fill my heart with your love

Spm is coming

am I ready?

I dunno

but I will start to prepare myself

:)

God bless...

As we walk our path of life,
We meet people everyday.
Most are simply met by chance.
But, some are sent our way.

These become special friends
Whose bond we can't explain;
The ones who understand us
And share our joy and pain.

Their love contains no boundaries.
So, even we are apart.
Their presence enhances us
With a warmth felt in the heart.

This love becomes a passageway,
When even the miles disappear.
And so, these friends, God sends our way,
Remain forever near.

http://www.indianchild.com/best_friend_poems.htm

Erase

I named this post as "Erase" because this post I'm going to share who and wat am I going to ERASE from my life!

First of all,

The first person I wanted to erase is C boy

he was my good friend before

we tuition together

we do projects together

we discuss stuff together

but all these can only keep in my memories

because everything change since this year april

I am very dissapointed in him

I have nothing to talk to him anymore

From now onward,

he is only my normal friend in class

if possible... I will not talk to him at all

why am I so cruel?

there is another secret reason...

and I know this decision is a good decision...

:)

if you ask me, are you sure that you willing to do that?

I can answer you

From the bottom of my heart

I don't want that

but for his own good, for another boy own good

I think I deserve it!

another boy that I plan to erase from my life is Z boy

for this case

there is a girl who support me

because this boy always tease me

and he doesn't appreciate what I've did to him

from giving answers in exam, to lending him notes, then helping him

but what he did is scolding me and sarcastic me

my friend ask me why I can tahan him for this whole year

but I just speechless

so I plan to less talk to him

good for me and him I guess

these are the people that I plan to erase from my life

don't worry

I won't kill them

I will only avoid them from my sight and their sight

I know I shouldn't do this because this year is final year

we should appreciate the friendships

but if they don't wish to respect me what for I wan to treat them so well

since they don't expect me to respect them

I think if I treat them like a very very very normal friend,

is very kind enough...

======================================================

There is one thing that I wan to erase from my life

heart of rebel

I declare this in my blog

those who read this will be the witness

I dun wanna be rebeler anymore

this is a bad thing

I have to, no...

I must!

I must delete this from my life

next time whenever I wan to do wrong thing

I pray that God will remind me of this post

and His grace

so that this can stop me from making sins

thank you

:)

-the end of the post-

Hey Jude

I face so many relationship problems this year...

I don't know why...

Is't my problem? or their problems?

start from Jan,

I am quite close with E boy

and then some funny misunderstanding

then argued

Until Feb and March,

I having cold fight with Y boy

I was choosing whether I should stop our friendship or continue

that was a terrible and sadful moments

All these we had overcame

and this helped us to built a stronger foundation of friendship

==============================================

From April,

until now~

I having fight with C boy

another boy

he is a bit different from the other 2

because these fight occurred because of a lot of things

and misunderstanding

I don't want to list it out

==============================================

Recently

I a bit cannot tahan another boy

is ZZ boy

I dun understand he like to zat me and scold me without any reasons

he deleted me

blocked me

he took away my lrt card (June he took, now only he return)

he took my physics notes form4 chapter1

he took my sejarah nota form 5

I gave him answers in exam

last year he was a new student

but he didn't hav much friends

so I thought I have to take the responsibility to friend with him

so and now we had become good friend

but he like to emo in front of me

my friend ask me why I can tahan him like that

I didn't say anything

now he started to tease me

but if he see this

I would like to tell him this:

If you want to continue being like this, I also cannot say anything. but... I am so wonder, why I want to explained to yenthung that u didn't cheat for ur sejarah intervensi marks. I wonder why I want to say your good things to choon tik so that you won't be fired by lenbaga pengawas. I wonder why I want to book you a place and letting my friend, gih peng to sit other place when I forgot to book for you.... if you don't appreciate what your true friend did for you, then I won't treat u as a true friend as well...

===========================================

is't all my problems?

I should repent to God

for what I had did

sometimes

I really don't know what's wrong with me

I'm so confuse

so...

pls do let me know if I really wrong

thanks...

问题不是你不爱耶稣， 而是你不知道耶稣有多爱你

朋友6

今天我跟这位已经吵架4个月的朋友握手，

决定不再生他的气

回想起来，

我有一点小气

我是不是该反省呢？

最近很多朋友都失恋

我不知道发生了什么事

我突然觉得很怕

我很怕我连恋爱的机会都没有

我此时是很同情失恋的人

但是我也羡慕他们

至少他们曾经拥有过

原本我对这件事没有那么怕

可能现在发育时期

我特别担心这种事

之前有一位女生喜欢我

我告诉我的班

班上竟然没有人敢相信

还有人说

我想不到她会喜欢你哪一点咯

我突然心想

难道

我的价值是那么低吗？

原来，

我应该是属于没有人会喜欢的那种类型的

是我的外表的问题吗？

还是

我的性格

还是我不够成熟

我不够高？

我不够黑？

我不够壮？

我不够man?

我不够帅？

还是我很幼稚？

我很小气？

我喜欢转牛角尖？

我很吝啬？

我很无聊？

我很多余？

我很没用？

看来我必须从人际关系开始着手

学习了解我的缺点

从中学习变得更好

我会没事的

我不会终生单生吧？

:)

这是我form2写的

http://luckyjoel.blogspot.com/2008/06/blog-post.html

Do you like this?

Do you like this kind of songs?

this is call piano music...

I'm not really focus so much in this kind of musics,

but my sis bought this album so I just listen it

and I feel its quite nice also...

here I share this song to you~

"Angel Eyes" from Jim Brickman...

hope you all like it...

:)

why me?!

because today we have no homework then only I will write this post

to show my anger here!!

haha...

I very unsatisfied with many things...

first of all

pbsm

I dun understand why all the members can give a lot of excuses to not marching

I dun understand why... they seems like willing to see pbsm hancur...

I feel so sorry to the xx seniors...

I cannot manage to take care of this society nicely...

haizzz

secondly,

I very unsatisfied with the president of pbsm

I dunno how come he can be so irresponsible

he can enjoy his futsal match and letting me, powei and yi ning to search for member class by class...

haizzz

some more he say he is not good at this

oh please, dun give this kind of excuse ok?!

u are the president, show your attitude, style as a president

u have so many things to do

even if u do wrong we wont say anything... coz we are human being...

but just do something ok...(actually I wish I can get this position at first, but because I know all these troubles will come to me that's why I dun wan my fren to vote for me

but I very disappointed with it so I have to handle it, by right I not suppose to do all these things, it's nothing to do with me!!! I am only ajk medic!!)

I know the burden is too big

but...

now no matter what, I must do something

pbsm cannot hancur like that

even though I just a ajk, wat I did no body may see

and sometimes have to tahan people's faces...

haizzzz

2.2, this president is a veli bad bad boy...

he likes to bully me TT

he wash his hands after shake hand with me...

he dunwan to join our discussion...

he untag the photo...

ok now let's talk about this untag photo...

if he untag the photo is because he dunwan his fren to know he got such ugly fren,

then I can accept it

but so many things happen cause me angry him now la... TT

so now I oso untag the photo as well...

I dunwan my fren to know I got such weird fren... huh!! :P

thirdly

I very unsatisfied with the teachers oso...

they are so simply throw away all the jobs to president

haizzz

pity the president...

forthly (no mood mode)

add math very hard ah!!!!!!!

fifth,

I very lazy ah!!!!

sixth,

seloka thing...

...

......

hmmmmmmmm

now Im ok d...

:)

just wan to explode my feeling... haha...

actually I not really angry to the president la

coz I edi forgive him...

XD

F for friendship

Yes, as you see, the title of the post is talking about friendship

here I have a good news to tell you all that I am willing to forgive the person that I angry recently

the guy is actually the leader of think quest group

yes it is him!

if you wan to know wat is the reason I hate him, please look for the posts of "think quest", "why?!", "queit", "final destination", "know the answer without telling me the answer"

however, there are some posts also talked about how important this leader to me

please look for www.experienceofscience1.blogspot.com for more info

hmmm.... why am I going to forgive him?

there are several reasons

no.1 I told so many people and they advise me to forgive him because they said I'm the one think too much

no.2 he guy treated me not bad, he always wave to me without any reason (I seriously dunno why)

no.3 I hope God will wash away my sins too! (actually this 1 is the most important reason)

so...

today I smiled to him already,

how?

am I doing good?

:)

this is a very simple post, but what I wanted to share is

1. with God all things are possible, God is great

2.forgive is a release, you will feel happier if you forgive somebody u hate

3. appreciate your friendship

谢谢教我英语的你

我记得当我还在中二的时候，

我的英语还是非常地烂，

（其实到现在还是这样）

但是，能够造就今天的我

绝对不能忘记这位恩师

他就是最不起眼的happy zai

认识了这位senior

他就教我很多英语生字

使我获益不浅

而且他也在课业上教了很多我所不明白的东西

有一次，

英语老师要我们回家准备一篇英语作文来应付英语作文比赛

题目是：An unforgettable holiday

于是我就上网找他一起讨论

最后，

他要我先写完一篇然后send给他纠正

这个是整份他回复给我后的document

(我到现在还留着,厉害吧~)

I had a trip to Sarawak during the last holidays.

My father took us there by car. I very excited as it was the first time I went to Sarawak. When we reached there, my father checked in to a hotel.

After that, my father arrive us to visit a popular cave. We pass by a jungle, and a lot of trees. When we reached at there, we tooking some photograph.

We were suppose to return to hotel because that was night. But we realize that my father’s car was steal by a thief. That was only one way to walk back to hotel. My younger brother was crying because of the sky turn to dark from bright of light.

But we didn’t saw any road sign for come back to the hotel. My father asked us to stay at the cave and he will went to find people to help them. After that, my mother also follow my father. She said don’t go out from the cave no matter what happen.

Suddenly, I didn’t hear any crying sound and I realize my younger brother was missing too. I go out and find my brother. I saw his shoes was in the (longkang) and I hear his voice. After that, I saw my brother sleeping under a tree. I tried my best to wake him up.

My brother was also wake up and stop crying. We were tried to go out from the forest because as the time I find my brother I went into a deep forest already. We tried to go out from the forest but fail. The forest change to noisy from dead land. We saw crows flew away from the sky and owls were singing. There was also had wolves howling.

We were very scared but I tell myself, I have to take care of my younger brother. So we tried the best to go out from the forest. Finally we were success and we saw my father and my mother. We ordered (texi) to arrive us to come back to the hotel.

Next day, we were come back to hometown by (areplane). This is a really unforgettable holidays.

Line 2 : I was very excited

Line 3 : My father checked us in

Line 4 : we never say “arrive us”, never say arrive someone! We paid a visit to …

Line 5 : we pass by a jungle full of big trees. When we reached there, no “at”. Never use past tense + ing! Either were taking or took

Line 6 : never say because like tat, return to the hotel before its dark or before night time.

Line 7 : was stolen! Not steal. And don’t say that it’s stolen by a thief coz u never seen the actual thief, juz say it went missing.

Line 8 : something wrong with the bright of light, doesn’t sounds like English. Juz say he’s afraid of the dark.

Line 9 : road sign that shows the way back to the hotel, never say “for come back” very wrong.

Line 10 : when u use will it’s something that’s going to happen, then u cant use past tense after it, “he will go and look for help” never say find ppl, nobody’s lost, no need to find 1!

Line 11 : my mother wanted to follow him and she told us to stay put in the cave. Your sentence vry Chinese!!

Line 12 : the crying has stopped.

Line 13 : I was so frightened and went out to search for him. His sparkling shoes caught my attention from a drain nearby. I could hear his voice now.

Line 14 : when u hear his voice, what voice izit? Crying? How come after hearing the voice then suddenly can sleep jor! Big mistake! Say that “I saw him crying under a tree.

Line 16 : don’t say my bro oso wake up, juz say he woke up. We were trying! Past continuous! Out OF the forest not from!

Line 17 : Pls don use already in any kind of essay! It’s dangerous! As I went so deep into the forest juz to look for him.

Line 18 : forest never change! Say the forest turned into a noisy place from juz a dead land.

Line 19 : crows flying away, not from the sky! If they flew from the sky mana lagi nak pergi, they are meant to be at the sky! Use comma“,” to fuse the sentence up, don’t hv to break it to pieces. Crows flying away, owls singing, and wolves howling, too.

Line 21 : at first I was frightened, but I had to strengthen myself to protect my little bro.

Line 22 : never say we were success, we succeeded!

Line 23 : went back to the hotel by a cab. [Pls notice that its late night edi, and where got taxi will go up to cave n jungle 1 expecially during night time! If got oso I don dare to go in ah!]

Line 24 : on the next day, we went back … [ I noticed that u oways make same mistake! Was n were = 是! How can u say 我们是回来? Be aware!] spelling aeroplane / plane oso can

Line 25 : That WAS really an unforgettable [ put really in front!]

很惊讶吧,

他帮我纠正的内容竟然还长过那篇作文

我非常谢谢他,

那么多位senior,只有他说ms sor的教学方式很好

直到现在，我才认同他的说法

也谢谢他，

教导我那么多知识，语法

虽然我现在没有跟他联络了

但我是不会忘记这位良师

在我的中学生涯，

留下那么美好的回忆

谢谢你， happy zai!

6月的post

终于踏入六月的生活了

六月的生活是一个又悠闲，又繁忙的月份

因为前半个月有两个星期的假期

可以尽情的享受，休息~

但是开学后就忙了

虽然还不知道会忙什么,

但是有预感，而且往年都是这样的

更何况今年考spm

haizzzzzz

我决定用储蓄的钱买练习作

走了这条路

就不能回头了

买练习来做，要花钱

要花得值得

就是要考好成绩

要考好成绩，就要拼了

所以，我是逼不得已的

如果你们看到我stress的样子，

你们不要出奇

假期后，

肯定会忙死的

假期后，think quest的成绩会出炉

好紧张哦

下了不少心机，

希望会有回报

虽然知道不太会赢的

但是希望还有一点award啦~

还有一个国际的比赛已经报名参加了，

虽然不知道是几时

但是知道会在六月比赛

希望我不会连累整个组咯

话说回来，

六月假期我要做的事情很多

1.完成还没做完的功课

2.读完至少1本书 (how to make anyone like u)

3.庆功宴

4.。。。

六月还有特别的一天，

那就是我的生日哦~

哈哈~

期待你们要送我的礼物

我今年送那么多人礼物

再加上跟大家深入的感情

希望我能够收到礼物咯~

哈哈。。。

但是。。。

我生日那天会拿华语和生物学成绩

好担心哦。。。

六月也希望能在上帝的爱中继续在教会里成长

让我成为更成熟的人 :)

六月会怎样呢？

我还不知道

虽然没有一个很好的开始

但是我会期待

希望今年的六月让我留下美好的回忆

:)

朋友5

A best friend
is always there,
whether you need advice,
or a pep talk,
or even a shoulder to cry on.
A best friend
listens with her heart
and is always honest with you,
even though the truth
may not be
what you want to hear.
A best friend
knows all your secrets,
understands your fears
shares your dreams.
A best friend
never stops believing in you
even if you give up
on yourself.
you are
that kind of friend
to me.
And no matter what happens,
you always will be.
You are my best friend....
my forever friend.

Know the answer without telling me the answer

Well...

it's long time I didn't continue with the post about "Think Quest", "Why?", "Quiet", "Final Destination"

after finished the competition, we all are busying with our mid year exam, so I didn't really care about the relationship anymore... And I also don't have time to bother about why he dun wanna join the discussion...

since he don't feel like telling me, I guess it must be something very hurt to me

Yesterday,

I knew the 'why' and 'why'...

From the following observations, I can know only 1 inference

1. he removed the tag of our photo

(excuse: bcoz I look not nice in the photo)

2. he dun draw my caricature

(joking la... small matter)

3. Letter

(can check from the post"Why?")

4. torture seat

(he hit my scapula when I share chair with him)

so...

I think there is only one inference,

he hates me

ok, now only I know what he is trying to hint to me

he removed the tag, that time I really thought he think the picture not nice, but...

letter also the same

and he is so care when I ask to share chair with him

luckily now I knew what he is trying to hint,

otherwise he needs to do much more things to show that he hates me

ok...

so now over already

I wont ask him why he dont want to join the discussion

...

because I aready know the answer

I know the answer without he telling me the answer

because he is hinting to me...

I hope my inference is wrong...

but for sure that I wont ask him the same question anymore...

share a song here:

^^

When I say that 'I am a Christian', I am not shouting that 'I am clean living'. I'm whispering 'I was lost,

but now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need

Christ to be my Guide.


When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need

His strength to carry on.



When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God

to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible,

but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say 'I'm a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain. I hv my share of heartaches,

so I call upon His name.

When I say 'I'm a Christian' I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner who received

God's good grace, somehow!

Final Destination

I know this topic is a bit scary, hahaha, but if you think a different way, it is a good title for this topic too! haha...

Today I was not around at school, because I in charge in the kejohanan bola sepak's medic. So, phei lian, shih kei, and the guy finished it at school. After I went back home, I called shih kei, shih kei told me that teacher already submit the work.... yeah~ and from the facebook, the guy also send the message that our work are done. yeah~

Finally, our project, successfully submit to ..........

FINAL DESTINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

which is also call internet la... hahaha....

I don't expect we can win in this competition, but in this competition, I really learnt a lot! I learnt more about teenager's problems, more knowledges about teenagers behavior. (if you ask me what are the content, I cant tell you, because according to anwar al-junid's law, he states that if after a class you can say out what you've learn means you didn't learn all, if you cannot say out means all the knowledge already stick inside your brain. haha), not only that, I also learnt about documentation, and lastly, how to treat friends nicely.

I should understand everybody's feeling and as a group, we should have a team leader. As a secretary in the group, I learnt to divide the group and help each other whoever is need help.

So, our celebration dinner is on! is on 1/6, we will probably go to KLCC or pavilion... yeah... :D

Thanks giving part:

I would like to thank God for giving me a chance to take part in this competition and learn to love God more and how to treat people nicely

I would like to thank all my group members for giving me support and all your commitments!

Shih Kei and Hoong Ling, thank you for listening my feelings when I was sad...

Pn Basirah, even though she didn't help a lot in the group, but without her, we also cannot submit the project

Pn Elaine, Ruth Liew and few 5a3/4 students, thanks for your information and interview

my family members, for comforting me and give me financial needs

and everybody!!!!

Quiet

Today is suppose to submit the project, however, teachers and the leader, the guy was not around, so my friends and I have to rush and finish it in the lab.

We are suppose to post what we did inside our think quest account so that teacher can combine all. howver, 3 members are unable to to log in their account so I suggest to put all my information inside my account. today I skip all the seminars to just rush for this project.

After I went back home from tuition, the guy called me. he said that he cant open my account and combine all with teacher. So he said tomorrow morning must gather all finish it. I ask him why cannot just take all information from my account (since I can log in my account), he say he will explain to me tomorrow because he is too tired to settle the problem with teacher.

I am so angry and disappointed. How come he says until like he is the only one did all the thing?! not only that I even cannot understand why he say want to separate all the information to them again and combine it back? since today the whole day I already combine all... that time I was very angry to him...

After that, I really thank God for comforting me as I read this tag from my sister:When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

not only that, God always does thing right! His way is always the best way,even if to us it seems all wrong. TRUST! You can be sure that he will always give you what you need at the appropriate time.

Not only that, there is 1 song that touches my heart

I thank God for wanting me to rest and quiet myself to not rushing for everything

I ask the guy for teacher hp, after I call the teacher, teacher explain to me why we need to separate it again, then only I realize it.

Even though what I did today is not useful anymore, but my friends appreciate it and they thanked me. and I believe my God in Heaven also understand my feeling and finally things will be settle tomorrow....

Here is one song that touches my heart...

Why?

I always wonder why the guy will angry to me. Is it because he really thinks that the group members’ standard is really low to him? Or he never ever dissatisfied with others? Or he only not satisfied with me?

I have asked him this question many times. I find him personally, I sms him, I find him on facebook. But still, he refuses to answer that question. I blocked him inside the toilet and force him to tell me. Not only that, when he escape, I pulled him and forcing him to answer. Perhaps is too shy for him to say my problem face by face. So I prefer to sms him. I ask him about homework first but after 1 day only he replies my message. Perhaps he doesn’t want to waste his money by telling my problem in hand phone. Final choice, I asked him on facebook. Still, he say he don’t hate me. I am so disappointed.

“If you don’t want to explain to me why you hate me, then I will do something that really makes you angry until you tell me!”

I told him this. After that, I wrote a letter to him. From the letter I said that he is trying to manipulate the think quest group. This is because I still see him typing using the old title which is called “The next generation” since we already change the topic to “Teenager”. So, the word ‘manipulate’ in the letter really makes him angry. That is the first time he scold me, not only the first time scold me, also the first time scold anyone. I told him the main thing I wrote the letter to him is not about he manipulate the group title. I just wanted him to tell me my problem. After he scolded me was pjk class. Everybody went out and played. I am the only person who hide inside the classroom and I picked back the broken letter rend by him from the basket. I checked back the letter word by word. I never think that this letter can really make him angry.

After the class, he still smiled to me and… as usual, he acts like he want to friend with me which will causes people misunderstanding me very angry to him. Edwin told me, “Don’t be so angry just because people scolded you, otherwise you are the loser. Always pretend like you are very calm”

The night after we argue, I argue with him in facebook again, and sms as well.... TT

Few days ago, he said something that really makes me VERY VERY angry… after I gave him the pen drive so that he can gather all the information; he said I am copy paster! Yes, some of the information I did copy and paste. This is because my English not very good, how can you expecting me to edit it?! I also tried to edit it, but I spend 3 to 4 hours to just edit an essay. Please, don’t call me copy paster. That time I was very angry and I threw my bag at him. Huh!

I won’t see him for the whole week because of some reasons. Maybe this is the time for me to relax myself and refresh back is it correct what I have done before to him.

To be continue...

this is the red letter, I picked back.

Think Quest

There is one international competition which is called Think Quest. There are 6 of us participate in this competition… This is a big challenge for all of us because this is the first time we work together. Perhaps there is a good beginning… however, in our group, we loss one thing that is important… which is mentally connection a.k.a. understanding to each other.

I don’t know what is happen that causes our relationship becomes worse… and broken… We only have 2 weeks to finish the project but we spent 1 week to discuss what topic to do. The first week we don’t have a leader to guide us. When we discuss what topic to do, there is someone who doesn’t like to join us. He is the one who quit the meeting earlier, sometimes not even want to join us. One of my teammates asks me: “He seems like not really like to join us.” I felt so sad. This guy always has a lot of idea in our group but I myself also think that he seems like do not like to join us because from my observation and my understanding to the guy, his English is the best among 6 of us. Not only that, he has very wide general knowledge. Before that we planned to do something do with politic, economic, and social issues. However, there is another girl in our group, she said that its very hard for her to do this topic finally we stop this topic. That’s why he seems like he doesn’t like to join us. Maybe he thinks that our standard is different to him.

I argue with the guy and I ask him what my problem is. He does not admit that he is not satisfied with me. Some more he pretend like he is very close to me. I don’t know which 1 is true but I realize after I joined this competition, I had some friction with the guy. I also had a very first experience to get scolded by the guy. No one saw him angry before, I’m the first 1. Is that my problem, or his problem? I don’t know. Maybe he is really satisfied with the group.

Will celebration dinner on? How are we gonna face each other the day after tomorrow? To be continue...

(those of you after read the post pls dun let any1 of the member know... thanks...)

Canteen day- 朋友的眼光

这几天我的post怎样都不会脱离朋友这个话题

今天是canteen day

我也‘吃’得很开心

哈哈

十块钱的coupon 全部用来吃东西

因为我就是爱吃

十块钱

三块买laksa penang (超好吃）

三块买水，teh ais 普通， grape juice很好喝

两块吃rojak，普通，跟外面一样，ok lo~

一块买hot dog, 好吃

一块买薯条

就这样咯~

==================================

现在要讲今天人际关系的感想

今天宋伟不能来，

很可惜，

其实他想来的，

但是他母亲不给

其实今天是他的生日嘛，

为什么还要从早补到完呢？

虽然说今年是spm

但是抽出一天来享受一下，

我觉得影响不会多到哪里去咯

宋伟曾经是我要好的朋友

在巴士上，

我们无所不谈

因为在学校都扮到不认识，

所以就算把秘密说出来

都不需要好害怕的

他转校后，

对我改变很大

他的转校，

使我开始学看小说

因为在巴士很寂寞

也因为他转校

我就更早回家

（巴士行程排法有所改变）

今天还看到了tze ing

他高了很多

为什么？！

今天跟edwin较少谈天，

因为他忙着他的东西

我还看到了loke seng

虽然他很孤单，

但是我也爱莫能助

谁叫他的朋友放他飞机

跟他又没有什么话题

我能力已尽了

但是很开心他能来

因为他一直都很想回来看一看的

今天christopher当了dj

感觉很爽

但是我觉得他很累

所以自愿去问他要吃什么

然后帮他买

他好像很感激我

我也很开心

当作是当了一个会关心人的朋友咯

跟艺平和志聪做medic

很开心哦

很久没有一起三个人

坐着谈天

想回最后一次这样是几时呢？

可能是中三哦

我还看到了教会我数学的思立青

很开心能看到她

她变美了很多哦

今天跟zaeed没有吵架

他的心情也很好一下

他帮老师卖东西

我要去买时，

他说：cikgu, jangan jual kat Yen Sern!

然后大家笑笑后，

我说：saya nak zaeed yang serve saya!

哈哈。。。

司琦玩fire fox哦

她还说她不怕

她真的很厉害

sue rui借了我功课做

这样回家后就不用再作

谢谢啦

放学后，还跟yi yen谈了一点

然后坐jin wei的车回

听她们说话

我都觉得很开心

虽然我不知道我的风浪结束了没有

但是我还是要坚强走下去

因为我相信乌云背后会有蓝天

所以我要坚强走下去

:)

再见了，小丑

从今天起

我不再是那个

嬉皮笑脸的我

每天送给大家欢乐

但是心里却隐藏着

孤独的悲痛

从今天起

我不再是那个

自愚娱人的我

我再次了解

不是每个人都爱这套

我选择自娱自己

因为。。。

娱乐别人好吗?

我脱下面具

戴上残酷

走上沉默的道路

我往向南极

对着北方的小丑说

再见了！

我走不下去了

我好想在这里把所有的问题写出来

但是，

我真的很难写出来

如果要我对每个我得罪的人说对不起，

我看我这辈子怎样都说不完

我突然觉得。。。

我真的很sinful

如果要我慢慢地把所有人际关系的问题例出来

我会尽量写

但是遗漏的

肯定很多

第一，

关于前两个

舍得，舍得2

里面说的那个人，

今天跟他澄清

结果又被指责

haizzzz

虽然他表面跟我说他没有生气，

但是我觉得

他应该还是很在意

因为他不要收我的chocolate

说真的，

我宁愿他收下，

至少他愿意领受我的歉意

但是他说他没有生气我，

所以不要收

haizzzz

我所付出的，

没有得到回报不用紧，

还不被认同

好失落

第二，

我想澄清，

我跟她是好朋友罢了

是永远的好朋友

但是很多人都误会，

导致她生气我了

现在，

我也有可能少了一个朋友

因为我跟传我跟她的绯闻的老师说

“是她每次来找我啦”

我只是开玩笑，

但是没有想到她很在意

有时我不知道，

是其他人敏感

还是我有事做事情很过分

我个人认为这些玩笑很小事罢了

但是很多次了，

人家都生气

真的是我的问题吗？

我应该反省一下

还有，

另外一个异族朋友

之前很少朋友的

但是最近每次对我大骂

我也顶不顺他了

今天我把所有问题这些问题例出来

看到的人

应该觉得我很令人讨厌吧

我也这么觉得

在此，

我想对这些人说声对不起

我不知道我该如何面对你们

我明天不想去学校了

因为不知道该找谁说话

我有时觉得，

我在这个世界很多余

属灵生命又不是很好

人际关系更加烂

有人说我的人际关系好

但是，

看透我内心深处的人

就知道不是了

我在人际关系这条路

好像掉进死阴幽谷了

我。。。

走不下去了。。。

有谁可以拉我上来?

扶持我？

我曾经想要当一个使人和睦的人

因为班上很多人都互相讨厌

但是，

我还能做到吗？

我都那么令人讨厌了

我还能吗？

我。。。

快不行了。。。

明天我可能会坐在班里的角落，

这样才不会让人看到我

把问题说出来，

不是刻意要贬低人家名誉

而是抒发

在这里

很想说声，对不起。

还有，

这是我的祷告：

主啊，

我知道你爱我，

我来到你的面前，

向主你道歉

我亏欠你

我对不起你

我知道

我错了

我求上帝赦免我

我的所作所为

我也要向主你说

我爱你

愿神你聆听我的祷告

谢谢主

奉主耶稣的名字祷告，

阿门

舍得2

今天当事人没有来学校

所以没有机会送到

但是这也成为了另外一个我们友情关系复原的大好机会

因为我可以帮他拿功课

但是，

有人却说

送chocolate太过浪漫

只有男朋友送女朋友chocolate

但是以前的他，

也这样送过男性同学哦

怎么办啊？

刚才我send了他一封message

我告诉他我帮他拿了功课

想顺便问他一些东西

但是。。。

他竟然没有复我

有一点失望咯~

算了，

可能他还没气消~

等明天吧！

：）

今天发生的大小事物：

1. 周记不见了！！

2.add math quiz 有些不会做，但是跟朋友讨论了终于明白！！

3.去看志聪做animation，才知道原来不容易

4.bm quiz 对17/20， 大突破！

5.试了koperasi卖的pudding,蛮不错哦！

:)

舍得

人际关系上的突破

还没有解决

这次要讲的是拥抱

之前我一直所说的“诱惑”

其实就是我很想去抱一个人

就是觉得爽

还吃了他不少豆腐

这样算来，

都蛮多一下

终于，

他顶不顺了

他说：“如果你再这样我就告诉老师”

我没有想过他那么serious

我也吓了一跳

我真的承受不了

以后再也不能抱他了

有一点失望

（其实我也是过分一点了拉~）

但是如果让我选

我宁愿努力挽救这段友情

因为

友情比拥抱重要

我不想因为这种小事令他觉得反感

所以我就去了一间便利店

买了一个chocolate

打算明天送给他

因为我记得宋伟以前讲过

这个人会送chocolate来表达感激

所以chocolate这样东西对他意义非凡吧~

这个chocolate

花了我RM3

也就是三天的早餐

所以连续三天都要吭面包咯

如果你问我

值不值得

我说值得

因为如果能用RM3来换回一段友情

我所能得到的

会比RM3还值钱

也有可能，

他会被我所感动

决定让我拼命抱他

hahaha

（开玩笑啦）

=====================================

上bio 节时

突然觉得自己在班上很多余

班上的男生有9位

如果两位一pair来算的话，

我就是多出来那位

Faiq+Haidhar(同班很多年，一起玩了很久）

Yogern+Chris (唯一用英文沟通，两人在一起最好谈）

Anwar+Zaeed (都是被冷落的，老师放他们在一起）

CC+Edwin(很多共同的话题，尤其是周杰伦）

陈衍升+空气=〉陈衍升+空气 (no reaction)

但是我发现我不能这样想

上帝造每个人都是重要

我知道

上帝是爱我的

所以，

我并不孤单

:)

(我不会想不开的）

题目叫舍得，

所以送上这首歌

许如云的泪海

Thank you

thank you for being my friend...

no matter what situation I am facing...

you are always be there with me

I don't understand why

for treating me so nicely

even though I am not perfect

but you had chosen me

to be with you

not because of what I've done

or who I am

is because of who you are

thank you for your love

thank you for your patient

and I'm so sorry about what I've done to you

what can I do?

I know I'm not perfect

but thank you for accepting me

and my everything

:)

secondly, thank you to my family

for always love me,

and let my life to full with joys, happiness

my closest, family

you are the one who always guide me

tutoring me

so that I can become better

thank you.....

thirdly, thank you to my school friends

because of you all,

I'm not alone in school

even though now I am facing some troubles

however,

I hope things can turn into better way...

I don't know what will happen tomorrow

things can become worse and worse in one day

but I know that

God will make a way...

so my friend,

no matter what...

I would still like to say

thank you

朋友。我能吗？

今天我才知道

原来不少人看了我的部落格

之前还放胆地在这里毫无考虑的说心事

现在，

恐怕不行了

原来

Rachel, Edwin, hl 都看过我的部落格了

看来纸还是包不住火了~

我决定了，

这次是我最后一次把这件事写在部落格，

下不为例！

=================================

听了听红玲问我的问题

“你为什么不要加入他们呢？”

我此时顿着了

我不知道该说什么

这个问题

最后的解决方案还可以

“加入”

我不知道这样是否会好

我不知道我可不可以

我心想，

我能吗？

为什么我要加入？

为什么我不要加入？

我该不该加入？

三人好

还是两人好？

我要怎么做呢？？

我有想过这个问题的

因为“诱惑”很强

我好想加入

但是，

如果感觉不太对

万一他们觉得我很厌烦

反而会更加讨厌我了

而且话题不容易加入

我也不想要他们配合我

如果不加入，

就成全大家

让我当个伟大的人

自己退出

让大家都快乐好了

我。。。

表面会尽量扮到无所谓啦~

至于心底呢？

我还是会有一点点咯

（老实说）

看到班上的人有些互相针对

你讨厌我，我讨厌你

我却无能为力

我好想成为一个使人和睦的人

我该怎么做？

至于现在眼前所面对的友情问题

我还能够解决到吗?

现在还有更大的事情发生了

暂时这些小事我不能理太多

但是还是希望这些小事也能够尽快解决咯

朋友之选择

今天没有什么进展

但是昨天

我把我的问题告诉一位好朋友

经过他的分析

我觉得。。。

事情可以用另外一个角度来看

抉择在于我

我该做好人，

还是坏人？

做好人，

就是牺牲自己

成全大家

退出队伍

坏人，

就是不择手段

拼命chi着人

我该如何是好呢？

我要违背自己的良心吗？

还是听从上帝的旨意？

如果当好人

日子不好过

可能会很孤单

如果当坏人

可能会快乐

但是心灵上的会有一个疤痕

怎么办？

有看到这个post的人

请comment一下

谢谢。

:)

朋友4

第四天了

问题还没完全解决

虽然今天还有一点好转

但是今天做了一件小错事

今天，我的朋友终于问我这个问题了

“你到底不爽XX什么？”

结果我就透露了一点

我对那个XX的不满

后来我的朋友才跟我一起谈起话了

我发现原来他一直觉得

我跟他们这一班

根本谈不来

其实我不是说很难跟他们谈得来

只不过我觉得，若我加入

要进展并不容易

所以我觉得，

退出会更好

虽然可能会一直保持着‘1人’

但是，

相信生命里还会有很多路人

我不至于那么孤单吧。

那么伟大的决定，

的确要付出的

我伤心了一段时间

虽然不知道接下来的道路

会多么难得走

可能我会放弃，

可能我会很痛苦

但是我相信

上帝的旨意必要临到！

话说回来

我有一点后悔

我不应该告诉我的朋友关于我对XX的不满

因为我担心他会告诉他

该怎么办呢？

唯愿我跟我的朋友的友情能够钢硬过他跟XX的友情咯

：（

我不知道上帝要我如何走这条路，

我只是知道

我要在这个班上

成为一个使人和睦的人

要使人和睦

自己要先和睦

所以我要成为一个人见人爱的人

我说话要有建设性

要做一个有安全感的人

要得到别人的信任

我要在影响这个班

：）

==================================

总结这五天的“朋友情况”

星期一-挑战还没接受，还活在‘诱惑’里

星期二-第一天面对冲突，好挣扎

星期三-跟朋友吵架了，我选择骗一些之前我分享过心事的人说问题解决了，以防问题蔓延下去

星期四-情况有一点奇怪

星期五，好转，但是问题还没结束

这个班里，

很多朋友之间都有分歧

我不想自己也成为一份子

我要班里的人也能和睦

赞美主！

朋友3

第三个post

所以叫朋友3

是指朋友散？

还是三人？

想到这里，

突然想到这首歌

三人

我在中学生涯

中一和中二时是四人的

当时真得很开心

不知道为什么

可能是因为双数吧

所以就不怕寂寞

上到中三

就是三人了

当时改变很大

有一点适应不来

但是时间久了

就要想办法解决

上到中四，

还是三人

但是在班里就只剩下二人了

有一点孤单，

但是让两人的关系更熟了

上到中五

友谊上的冲突比以前更多了

朋友之间失去了信任

虽然还是三人，

在班里还是两人

但是。。。

给我的感觉，

只剩下1人了

我比以前更孤单

《一封迟来的信》的小说里

教导人不要为着一些事情那么执著

要学会放下

寻找其他友谊

现在的我，

应该继续眷恋着以前的友情

还是

学会放下，

找其他朋友呢？

我该化解我的冲突

但是，

在这个狂风暴雨巨浪中

路不容易走

忧伤的灵一直缠绕着我

这个时候的我

要大声说

“我虽行在死阴幽谷，我仍要靠主常常喜乐！” :) !!!!

朋友2

因为我告诉人我没有写部落格了，

所以我选择把心事写在这里

反正都没有人看，

（我不觉得会有人天天来update咯，

除非那个人暗恋我 haha)

好吧，话不多说， 我的题目是朋友

昨天真的很down

因为我不想要再这样违背自己的良心

选择一直配合朋友

这是我心中所想的

我觉得这样很假

一个真诚的朋友，

我可以大胆的说出我的心声

但是面对这个人我做不到

可能是意见不同

我之前还以为可以的

可能是诱惑太强了

我知道有时事情不是如我所愿

是上帝为我好

但是当情况来到一个地步时，

我只能说

“诱惑太强了”

昨天，

我决定尝试放下，我知道事情来到这样的地步

很伤我心

但是，

我相信，

乌云背后会有蓝天

狂风暴雨巨浪中，

上帝的恩典不离开我

to be continue...

朋友

我的朋友在哪里？

。。。

主啊，我需要你！